scarlettthomas

S C A R L E T T . T H O M A S

I really liked this bit, but there was no place for it in the final draft.

The action takes place in a house on a deserted island somewhere off mainland Britain. Six people have responded to a job ad asking for 'Bright Young Things'. They go for the interview, but after drinking coffee in the foyer, they wake up on a deserted island. They don't know how they got there, or why.

This is their third day on the island. They have spent the previous night playing Truth or Dare, and Jamie has revealed that he once spent the night with a man - his girlfriend's brother.

‘Are you sure this is a good idea, mate?’
Bryn’s in Jamie’s bathroom, holding a bottle of bleach.
‘Yeah,’ says Jamie. ‘Just tip it over.’
‘All over?’
‘Yes.’
‘And you won’t try and, you know, take me from behind?’ jokes Bryn.
‘When is this going to stop?’ asks Jamie. ‘It’s not that funny.’
‘It is, though,’ says Bryn.
‘I only did it once.’
‘It's like that joke, you know, You shag one sheep... How does it go?’
‘Not like that,’ says Jamie. ‘Now just pour it over.’
‘You know you’re going to look even more gay like this?’
‘You’re a fine one to talk,’ says Jamie. ‘You’re not exactly a natural blond.’
‘Yes, mate. But I didn’t shag my girlfriend’s brother.’
‘You haven’t even got a girlfriend,’ says Jamie.
‘What a bitch,’ comments Paul, coming in. ‘Haven’t you done it yet?’
‘He keeps homo-ing out,’ says Bryn.
Paul laughs. ‘Homo-ing out. Good one.’
‘It’s him,’ says Jamie. ‘He won’t pour it over my head.’
‘You don’t want to just pour it over,’ says Paul. ‘It’ll go all streaky.’
‘Fucking hell,’ says Bryn. ‘Listen to Aunty Edna.’
‘Maybe we should ask the girls,’ says Jamie.
‘I thought you wanted it to be a surprise,’ says Paul. ‘Just rub it in. It’ll work.’
‘Do you want me to rub it in, then, mate?’ asks Bryn.
‘Yeah,’ says Jamie. ‘Just hurry up.’
‘Don’t do it with your bare hands,’ says Paul. ‘It’ll burn. Here, I brought you these.’ He gives Bryn some pink rubber gloves.
‘Won’t it burn me?’ says Jamie.
‘You have to make sacrifices for beauty,’ says Paul. ‘It won’t be that bad.’
‘How long shall I do it for?’ asks Bryn.
‘Just a couple of minutes,’ says Paul. ‘Or his hair will fall out.’
Eventually, Bryn pulls on the rubber gloves and tips the bleach on Jamie’s hair. Once he’s rubbed it in for a couple of minutes, both he and Paul help rinse it off with jugfulls of water. There are six baths in this house, but no shower attachments.