F I L M S

Films with One Good Thing In (Or Maybe, at a Squeeze, Two)

Training Day, Denzel Washington's black skullcap hat

Scooby Doo, that the evil villain is Scrappy Do, and all the cut scenes on the DVD

Life, or something like it, Angelina Jolie's unbelievably blonde hair (as if she needed to look any weirder)

Birthday Girl, how much the two main characters hit one another throughout, and the scene with the Russian-English Dictionary

Austin Powers in Goldmember, Goldmember's manky skin ('That's a keeper!')

The Others, the curtains being drawn all the time

Enigma, the shagged looking nerds working alongside our hero at Bletchley Park

Traffic, Sorry, my mistake, this film has nothing at all to recommend it

Cast Away, Best Supporting Performance by an Article of Sporting Equipment

Deep Blue Sea, the most unexpected of shark attacks

10 Things I Hate About You, the singing-in-the-stadium scene

Final Destination, the bus incident (also, possibly, the water on the bathroom floor)

The 6th Sense, the boy’s tent - just the look of the inside of it

South Park, Saddam and Satan getting it on (and abooot)

The Virgin Suicides, title sequence

The Insider, the Hezbollah scenes (and the sky behind Pacino when he wades out into the sea to talk on his mobile)

Election, the desk-in-the-hall scene

Kitchen, the hairdresser sister

The Ice Storm, the empty swimming pool scene

Eye of the Beholder, the stalker becoming the stalked, after ducking into a doorway

The Perfect Storm, the boat meeting The Wave (excise Clooney screaming, ‘Come on, you bitch!’), also Clooney's great hero line 'I catch the fish, it's what I do'.

La Veuve de St Petersburg, the black horse

*

Films with More than One or Two Good Things In

Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter... And Spring

Dogtown and Z-Boys

Tape

The Royal Tenenbaums

Gosford Park

The Man Who Wasn't There

Almost Famous

Memento

Being John Malkovich

Happiness

Rushmore

Festen

Pleasantville

Gattaca

eXistenz

*

Self-Indulgent Off-the-top-of-my-Head All-Time Top Ten

L’Apartement
The Apartment, Billy Wilder
The Usual Suspects
The Seventh Seal, Ingmar Bergman
Nostalgia, Tarkovsky
Loves of a Blonde
The Apartment, Billy Wilder
Godfather II, Coppola
The Big Lebowski, the Brothers
Pandora’s Box, Pabst

*

Top Ten When There’s No-one Around I’m Trying to Impress

Jerry Maguire
When Cat’s Away (French version)
The Wizard of Oz
The Wicker Man
Aladdin
Godfather I
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Any biopic of a classical composer (especially starrying Danny Kaye)
The Thomas Crown Affair (remake)
McCabe and Mrs Miller