T H E . A U D I O G U I D E

A N . I N T R O D U C T I O N

(From Cheltenham Literary Festival, October 2001)

The story I’m going to read today is called 'The Audioguide'.

It's a story from a book of short stories, called Exhibitionism, that will come out in February 2001.

I wrote 'The Audioguide' in a small black notebook whilst travelling home to visit my parents.

I started writing it on the Jubilee Line Extension; I then changed at London Bridge to the Thameslink. I think I may even have written some of it going up the escalator.

Because it went from Bedford to St Pancras, Thameslink used to be known as the bedpan line.

I finished the story just as the train drew up in Flitwick.

(Flitwick, now made famous by J.K.Rowling's Professor Flitwick. If you want the correct pronunciation for this, it's not flitt-wikk. Leave out the middle t and w; fli'-'ick.)

Before I wrote the story I had an idea for an art exhibition: I would hire a gallery, and have it be completely empty, but give visitors an audioguide describing works that weren't actually there.
I may still do this, one day - but first I decided to write the idea as a story.

It was important for me, in writing about my fictional gallery, that I lost control over what was taking place.

'The Audioguide' is what they used to call a "head-trip".

And so if you'd like to get the full effect, I suggest you close your eyes now and don't open them until the story ends.